By Kavya Sharma, Student, DAV College, Chandigarh
Introduction
Childhood neglect often doesn’t leave bruises, at least, not the kind you can see. It’s silent, invisible, and devastating. While we often hear about physical and sexual abuse, neglect, whether emotional or physical, is one of the most common yet overlooked forms of childhood trauma. The child is not hurt by what is done to them, but by what isn’t: the hugs they didn’t get, the words of encouragement never spoken, the basic safety they never felt.
In India, stories of neglected children are woven into many films and series. Think of Ishaan from ‘Taare Zameen Par’, misjudged as lazy and unruly, when all he needed was understanding and support. Or Chotu in ‘I Am Kalam’, a child with immense potential overshadowed by his circumstances. These stories hit home because they reveal what children carry in silence, and how compassion, presence, and encouragement can transform them.
Neglect is often hidden behind normal routines: parents away for work, overcrowded homes, and emotional unavailability masked as “discipline,” or poverty that leaves no time for affection. The harm comes from prolonged emotional disconnection, not a single incident. Over time, this can shape how children view themselves and the world.
What Is Trauma-Informed Therapy?
Trauma-informed therapy isn’t a specific type of therapy, but a way of being with a child. It’s built on understanding the widespread impact of trauma and creating an environment where healing can begin. It shifts the focus from behavior management to relationship building. It asks the fundamental question: “What happened to you?” rather than “What’s wrong with you?”
Therapists trained in trauma-informed care focus on five key principles:
- Safety – Emotional and physical safety is prioritized. The child must feel safe enough to open up.
- Trust – Trust is built through consistent, honest interactions.
- Choice – Children are given voice and agency to make decisions, no matter how small.
- Collaboration – Therapy is a shared process between the therapist, child, and often caregivers.
- Empowerment – The child is seen as capable, resilient, and worthy, not as broken or damaged.
This approach is especially powerful for neglected children who may not even realize they’ve been harmed, only that they feel unwanted, unsafe, or unworthy. It provides the emotional scaffolding they never received. Importantly, trauma-informed care recognizes the cultural, social, and familial context, which is essential in a diverse country like India.
How Neglect Affects a Child’s Growth
Neglect isn’t just the absence of care, it actively disrupts the child’s developmental wiring. During early childhood, the brain is rapidly forming connections that shape how we relate, trust, and regulate emotion. Without positive, consistent interaction, these connections can weaken or form in maladaptive ways.
Neglected children may:
- Struggle to recognize or regulate their emotions.
- Display anxiety, anger, or withdrawal.
- Have difficulties with trust and attachment.
- Exhibit delayed language or social development.
- Feel persistent shame, self-blame, or worthlessness.
We see these themes play out in Indian storytelling. Take Highway, where Alia Bhatt’s character, Veera, reveals the hidden pain of childhood abuse and emotional abandonment. Her healing doesn’t begin in a clinic, rather it begins when she feels safe, heard, and seen for the first time.
Research from developmental psychology and neuroscience confirms what these stories show: the brain is incredibly plastic, especially in childhood. With the right environment and relational support, even deeply hurt children can begin to heal and rebuild their sense of self.
Why It Works: Healing Through Compassion
Trauma-informed therapy does something revolutionary: it slows down and listens. It validates the child’s experience, acknowledges their pain, and walks alongside them at their pace. This contrasts with traditional methods that may focus too quickly on “correcting” behavior or achieving measurable goals.
For neglected children, this approach:
- Helps build trust with adults after repeated experiences of abandonment or inconsistency.
- Encourages emotional regulation through co-regulation and calm interactions.
- Strengthens a child’s sense of identity, helping them reframe self-worth and capability.
- Provides consistent structure and expectations, essential for children from chaotic or neglectful environments.
It’s not magic, and it takes time. But the results are powerful. Children who once withdrew or lashed out begin to express themselves. They learn that it’s okay to have needs, and that someone will be there to meet them.
Evidence from global studies and community-based programs in India, such as those run by organizations like TARSHI, Childline India, and Butterflies NGO show improved emotional wellbeing, classroom engagement, and peer relationships when trauma-informed practices are used in therapy and education.
What We Can Do
You don’t need to be a therapist to be trauma-informed. Teachers, parents, neighbors, anyone who interacts with children can make a difference. Trauma-informed care can be embedded into homes, schools, and communities.
It starts with:
- Listening with empathy – Let the child tell their story in their own time and words.
- Avoiding judgment or blame – Understand behavior as communication, not misbehavior.
- Offering consistent support – Be reliable in your presence, even in small ways.
- Being patient with emotional outbursts or withdrawn behavior – These are often protective mechanisms.
- Creating routines and predictability – Stability is healing.
Even schools can embrace trauma-informed practices — some Indian NGOs are already training educators to recognize trauma signs, use sensitive language, and support students emotionally, not just academically. Small classroom changes like mindfulness breaks, emotional check-ins, and supportive peer circles have shown strong impact.
Conclusion
Childhood neglect may be invisible, but its effects are not. And yet, healing is just as real. With understanding, consistency, and care, neglected children can rebuild their sense of safety and self-worth.
As we’ve seen in stories, both real and fictional, a single adult’s compassion can change a child’s life. Trauma-informed therapy gives us the tools to be that person: not a fixer, but a witness, a supporter, a safe space. If you know a child who may be struggling, the first step is simple: show up, listen, and believe in their worth. Healing begins there.