By Kavya Sharma, (Psychologist, Trauma-informed therapy practitioner)
There was a time when I, too, believed that growing up meant leaving the past behind. For instance, old fears, childhood pain, difficult emotions, and all the messy parts of the past.
I believed that adulthood came with a clean slate, untouched and unbothered by who we used to be or what had happened as we were a child. But with time, I’ve realised that the child we once were never truly disappears. That younger version of us still lives inside, quietly carrying the weight of early memories, both happy ones as well as those that were hurtful.
And whether we notice it or not, that inner child often gets reflected in us, in who we are today. Be it how we love, how we react, how sensitive we are, how we sometimes get triggered, the way we cope and even how we perceive ourselves.
Just as a cracked foundation affects the strength of an entire building, unresolved childhood pain or difficult experiences can impact our adult lives until we heal it with care and compassion. This is where inner child healing is beneficial.
How can the inner child be healed?
Inner child healing is not just a therapeutic concept; it is a deep personal journey of reconnecting with our inner child. It is about listening to the parts of ourselves that we have once silenced.
It is not about going back to the past and getting stuck there, but it is about gently returning, listening and giving yourself what you didn’t receive back then as a child. It involves creating safety, softness, and a sense of being emotionally held by you yourself.
Find and acknowledge your inner child.
Start by recognising that your inner child exists. You may picture them at a certain age or remember how they felt at certain moments in childhood. You may even consider keeping a photo of your childhood nearby to stay connected with your version of that age.
Try to talk to that inner child. Provide them warmth, care and support. Ask your inner child questions like “how are you feeling today?”, “What did you need that you didn’t get?”, or “Do you want to talk about something you haven’t told anyone and you wish you had told?”
This might feel a bit awkward at first, but over time, it becomes a meaningful practice of care and compassion.
Validate your past emotions
Remind yourself that there is no need to justify or minimise how you felt as a child. Pain, fear, unloved, lonely, whatever the emotion, it mattered. Tell yourself that you didn’t deserve to go through that alone. When we validate those feelings, we begin to lose the grip of the emotional numbness or other feelings of the past that often linger into adulthood.
Engage in meditation.
Guided meditations are often helpful in creating a safe space for us to meet our inner child. These visualisations often include imagining your younger self and offering comfort, safety or even just someone who is there to hear them out. This can be done in support of a therapist for better results and relief.
Recreate joyful experiences
Recreating the joyful experiences that you loved as a child, such as painting, playing with mud/clay, making up silly rhymes or songs or engaging with a soft toy, can be very beneficial. Revisiting such memories or re-enacting such activities is not childish; rather, it is very therapeutic. It is a way of telling your inner child that “Your joy still matters, you still matter”. Laughter, playfulness and creativity are powerful medicine for deep-seated emotional wounds.
Daily practices to keep your inner child alive
Inner child healing is not just about healing pain or difficult emotions; it’s also about keeping that child alive and joyful, and nurturing him/her in everyday life. Here are some of the ways that you can do it:
- Speak gently to yourselves. Swap self-criticism with reassurance. Speak to your inner child with care and love. Positive affirmations do wonders.
- Play, doodle, and dance in your room freely. Buy soft toys or stickers for yourself. Play with clay, make something for yourself.
- Celebrate little things. Appreciate your actions, even small ones. Let yourself feel proud.
- Surround yourself with emotionally safe people. Your inner child thrives in a warm environment where you feel accepted.
- Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, just be open to learn from them.
Conclusion
To summarise, Inner child work is a powerful tool for addressing emotional pain, fostering personal growth, and nurturing healthier relationships. By revisiting unresolved childhood wounds, individuals can rewrite negative patterns and cultivate self-love.
This journey strengthens the relationship with oneself and others, empowering individuals to lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.
Your inner child deserves the love, compassion, and validation they may not have received in the past. By honouring this part of yourself, you open the door to profound emotional well-being and personal transformation.